The most dangerous trap in personal development is when you think you are in anyway better than other people. Anytime you are at this point, you are just being naive.
You are doomed to be disappointed when you are unable to see past the blatantly obvious and understand that everyone is complex. It's people's natural instinct to hide their complexity in order to fit in with the general crowd, because almost no one wants to be figured out like words on white paper, it's a natural way to avoid manipulation. Some people are more complex than others because their behavior is the result of many experiences that aren't common in the general population. And as people, we are social creatures that wants to belong, we will say things and do things that is of the cultural norm. No matter how against it we really are to them. It doesn't make us bad people, or dumb people, it's just a naturally evolved mechanism that help us prolong our genes. In this world, everyone experiences different things since the day of their conception. No one can be 100% normal because normality is subjective to culture and opinion. No one can be 100% abnormal either, because you'll most likely be dead. Everyone falls somewhere in the middle, and for a mass complexity of reasons. You can't truly understand anyone fully, but you can guess people's general behavior patterns. Still, you will have errors interpreting why those behavior patterns occurred because they've been through the lens of your experience.
There's a difference between figuring someone out and understanding someone. Figuring someone out is being able to predict their behavior, able to see patterns in their decision making and general motives for reaching those decisions. Understanding someone is when you know their history, able to immerse yourself in their shoes, thus able to understand the cause of their motives for decision making and behavior. The latter has more sense of control and greater accuracy in reading people, and also has a greater capacity to manipulate.
This girl I used to date told me today that she's figured me out in like 3 days, that I am really simple. Curious, I asked her what her conclusion of me was. She said that I like to categorize people and make everything as simple as possible. Girls do this, guys do that. Apparently I had really intelligent thoughts when she first talked to me, then I never had anything interesting to say ever again.
I expressed my thoughts to her in the beginning because I liked her and would like to know her more, but the more I felt that she's trying to figure me out rather than trying to know and understand me, the more I closed myself off. Complex or intimate thoughts ought to be shared at the right moment, and upon one's will. That's how people build relationships, that's how trust is formed. If I don't trust you, why would I share anything with you?
But I didn't say any of that. I just laughed and let her continue on. There's no point in explaining myself to her. She already thinks she knows everything about me.
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=( That comment sounds like it must have been very hurtful. It goes against the notion of basic human dignity; at least, the way I see it, our personal complexity goes hand-in-hand with our dignity as people, and our humanity in general.
And heck, we're usually not even self-consistent or self-aware, much less simple enough for others to know us thoroughly, especially over such a short period of time.
Yes, everyone deserves basic respect and dignity. Nothing is always what they seem. I will do well to remember that.
Remember to always treat others the way that you want to be treated. That is something people know of but don't put into practice. Karma works in mysterious ways.