Tucker Max is Dumb, There I Said It.

It's great to be on break, I really needed the time away from school. Getting up at 11:30 this morning with nothing planned ahead of me was the greatest feeling I've had in a while. I lazily crept downstairs to the aroma of freshly made porridge that mom left me, it tasted like unicorn diarrhea. But I quickly realized that this might be one of the last few times that I get to enjoy this moment. When I move out to another state for school, there won't be home-cooked foods, there won't be family, or even friends that I've grown so close to these past few years. Meanwhile, the world carries on, as it always does. Time heals all wounds, but it also smears away all that is stable.

Dr. Emdur told me that the easiest years of being a doctor is being in med school, because you only have one responsibility - to learn. The years after med school comes with increasing responsibility for patients, office politics, and personal life. I witnessed all these events as I shadowed him. He was treating patients who are in their worst moods, dealing with his family on the phone in between patients, and chatting with his team member about the complex politics of scheduling and changing team members. This is an average day for him, and I understand that to a normal person there seems to be no happiness to any of that, but him and I both know that at the end of the day, treating people who are in pain is the most satisfying job in the world... even if sometimes you have to swig a beer or two afterwards.

After seeing CU students at the hospital who are alcoholics and have their life in pieces, I really am glad I found my way. Am I afraid of change? A little bit, but there is way more excitement that comes with it. A new stage of life is waiting for me, new people to meet, new places to see, and new things to do. It's exhilarating to think about this new life, perhaps it's because I am too ignorant to understand the responsibilities that come with being an adult.

I was talking to my friend today about possibly going to school in Iowa or Oklahoma. She pointed out just how old I'm getting, that I don't party anymore and I want to move to Iowa, I laughed at that comment. After all, we can't all be just like Tucker Max, or else he won't be special (and this would also be a very shitty society to live in). I'm going to do what makes me happy, and I guess going to the middle of nowhere for school is my way of being a college bro looking for the next keg.