Fireworks

Insomnia. I slept for 13 hours Friday night from exhaustion and haven't had a regular sleep since then. I think I need to tire myself out again, looking at the pile of work on my desk, I don't think that's going to be a problem.

I took a nap today (hence my insomnia) and I dreamed about being back in China. I was ten again, the clock just struck twelve and it was the lunar new year. I looked up to the sky from my balcony with my parents, and watched a flock of fireworks racing towards the sky, and then rain down to earth after a bang, chasing away demons and welcoming in the new year. I was surrounded by family, friends, I felt so happy and warm.

Then I woke up and realized that I am in my dark room, and my room is about 100 degrees because the furnace is right next to it. Kind of sadistic lol. I think what I miss is not being young, but having a sense of tradition, knowing that you belong to something that has been in practice for thousands of years. That moment when everyone is happy and worry free. I'll admit, for years I wanted to just explore what's out there, I wanted to see the real America because I wasn't content with just what I was born with. I found that as diverse as America is, people still has their own group that they can share that feeling with, that feeling of belonging. It's against all the non-conforming, alternative, independent jargon that people my age strive for, but really, everyone wants to feel like they belong. I'm over the age of rebellion.

Other than that, I've been doing some hardcore science edumacation lately. I don't know how I got away with not reading any scientific journal articles until this semester, but now I'm reading at least 2 every week. Not only reading, but presenting them and pointing out their flaws and what future directions I would go. It feels like boot camp for my brain, but I actually feel a lot more confident with what I know. The MCAT science sections don't seem that bad all of the sudden, and MCAT verbal seem to be written in English now compare to reading sentences like "Nevertheless, the possibility that AICAR-stimulated phosphorylation of
TBC1D1 is not the basis for its partial relief of TBC1D1 inhibition of insulin-stimulated GLUT4 translocation in 3T3-L1 adipocytes has to be considered." Yea... what the hell kind of sentence is that? The good thing is, I'm understanding it, my TA sent me an email about what a good job I'm doing on my assignments. Man I haven't gotten comments like that since ESL, lol jk.

Anyways, now that midterms are over for a while. Hopefully I can get all my graduation and application stuff done with. Can't wait to go travel in a month.