It's funny that I'm anticipating something to happen as if I've been locked up for the past week. I actually just went out last night to the Rockie's game with Aaron's high school friends, but the night ended on a weird note as a mixture of obnoxious events took place. I had hopes for a good time because it was my first time to a baseball game. But last night I realized for the first time that I've never actually enjoy myself around Aaron's high school friends. Maybe it's because of their unintentional exclusivity, or the intensity of certain personalities, but I realized that I definitely see them as acquaintances - and they in turn, are friends with me because of Aaron. I went to Vegas with these people and then some, but I am realized all this just now. I think it's because during the past week, I've found the feeling of being myself again during my job at Community Health. I've been training for my job and spent large amounts of time with my coworkers, and although they are not perfect people, their imperfections are something I resonate with, we didn't need to go to a baseball game or to the bars, I had fun with them during job training.
I've been conditioned to identify people's negatives as soon as they start to show them. Although that is a good way to give yourself a mental advantage under a competitive environment, I think friendship is more about developing a sense of bond and trust between two people. My coworkers' imperfections are part of their endearing personalities, and they're not afraid to show that to me, in turn I share back, and although unsaid, a bond is created. This is a big change of dynamics during the baseball game, where imperfections must be masked so that it will not be mocked. It feels good to be comfortable with the people you are with instead of constantly worrying about how your actions and words will affect your image. It's way too intense, hanging out should not be work or politics.
Of course I realize that new people never fully reveal themselves and I'm sure I will learn some things along the way, after all, there's no drama yet. As for now, I will enjoy the peacefulness of new developing friendship.
i am glad you are going to keep being you. <3
Friendship is about bonding, not worrying about your image. Very well said.